The Letter
by RT4ever
Summary: Sets place a few years ago, Sonny goes through some boxes of Brenda's and finds letters she wrote to him.
1. Your Scent

This is a story I wrote and posted on Soapzone about a year ago and I've been craving some S&B lately so I thought others might be too.  
  
The Letter  
  
Ch.1  
  
November 18th 2000  
  
Sonny sat in the house he had finished building for Brenda after her death, their dream house, her castle in the sky. It was amazing, it was warm here even though it was November and there was no heat turned on, he knew it was her memory that kept him warm but the problem was it also left him frozen on the inside. It was only here that he could sit back on the couch he knew she would have wanted and just imagine. He could see her chasing after their mischievous son, catching him and turning around to smile at Sonny. He saw her and their daughter having a tea party and heard her laughter once again. Their children creating a happy havoc that made Brenda both frazzled and deliriously happy all at the same time. It was funny how much joy he could derive out of sitting here and letting his mind wander imagining how their life should have been. However it was also incredibly sad that he could never be as happy outside of this house with the real world as he was inside left with only a memory. He walked over to the boxes Jax had given to him just a few months ago right before he had married Chloe. Jax had given him Brenda's boxes attempting to exorcise her memory from his life. It had taken him some time to reopen the boxes after the incredibly vindictive Jax had given them to Sonny on the anniversary of the day he had first left town. When he first opened the box, Brenda's wedding dress was sitting on the top and it had nearly destroyed him. It had taken him over two intense months of therapy with Kevin for him to be able to reopen the boxes. He opened the box he knew contained her dress and he lifted her gown out and stood with it, taking a deep breath relishing her scent that still lingered on the fabric, he then remembered her in it standing all alone in the rain. He went to shake the dress out when a letter fell from a fold, he bent down to pick it up and he saw his name in her beautiful handwriting. With shaking hands he opened it.  
  
  
  
ITo my love,  
  
I sit here and remember all that was and all that should have been and I realize that I must move past you. You were my world, the reason I lived and breathed, without you I thought the world had no meaning. I finally realize that I was wrong. Although I still love you, I can live without you and still find beauty and meaning in the world around me. I will never love another as passionately and as deeply as I love you, nor do I ever want to. It is finally time for me to be myself, to have a real life and to let go of what was, because it is no longer. It nearly destroyed me once to imagine my life without your love, I know now that I was wrong, not that I wouldn't die without your love but that your love could ever leave me. I know now that I was wrong because your love will be with me forever just as mine is with you. Circumstances in this life may keep our physical bodies apart but never our love for each other. I only wish you happiness and peace in your life because I finally know that's what you wished for me. Good-bye my love. /I 


	2. Don't Sleep

Don't Sleep  
  
Chapter 2  
  
Sonny sat on the sofa going though the boxes of Brenda's things all night, reliving all the memories that just her smell could bring. He looked over at the grandfather clock and saw that it was already 5 in the morning, he was supposed to be meeting Hannah for breakfast at 8. He knew he should stop going through her things and go up to bed, but he couldn't bring himself to. He couldn't stand the thought of being in that bed alone. At least down here he was with her, her memory, her things. All slept entitled him to was memories of her death. Well, not actually her death, but various deaths. Her being shot and dying in his arms, her blowing up as he watched and then there was him turning the wheel and not her mother. God she's looks at him in horror as she realized what he'd done. And sometimes he was the one with the gun thinking he was shooting Deke or Rivera and then he sees her lying on the floor. No staying down here was definitely the right choice. Maybe if he exhausts himself he won't dream or maybe god-willing he would actually dream of her not dying for once.  
  
Two hours later Sonny is ready to pass out, he looks over at the grandfather clock once again and notices the time. He was definitely going to miss his date with Hannah. He grabs his cell phone from the table and dials her number. Her machine picks up  
  
"Hi, this is Hannah. I'm not in right now so leave your name and number after the beep."  
  
S: Hey Hannah, it's Sonny I've been up all night doing work so I'm afraid I won't be able to make it to breakfast this morning. I'll give you a call later tonight. Bye  
  
God she had a totally uncreative message, he thought of Brenda's old messages they were always perky and creative and if they were actually getting along they sometimes be directly related at him. He leans his head back on the couch and falls asleep.  
  
Sonny feels himself being shaken awake; he opens his eyes and only sees dark brown hair. Hannah, he thought she must be pissed that I missed out date. "Hey, no need for all the violence" he cries out. Suddenly the hair moves from in front of his face, it's Brenda. She's dressed in a pair of tight black pants and a red top; her hair is loose hanging around her shoulders. "Brenda?" he says in astonishment  
  
B: Who else would it be? We're gonna be late, will you get up.  
  
S: Huh late for what?  
  
B: Late for what? I can't believe you, Sonny. We're meeting your father for lunch, remember, you made the date.  
  
S: Oh yea  
  
B: So get up and go change your shirt it's all wrinkly now.  
  
S (smiles): You think it's wrinkly now, just wait till you see it when your picking it off the floor later tonight.  
  
B: Yea like I'd clean  
  
Sonny pulls her close and breathes in her hair and takes in her scent.  
  
B: Your dad's gonna be pissed  
  
S: He'll understand that I wanna be with the woman I love  
  
B: Sonny...  
  
S: No I love you, never forget that  
  
B(smiles): I won't, I can't  
  
~message to the readers~ever have a dream that you keep telling yourself that it's not real and that you're gonna wake up? But then somehow you forget and when you wake up you can't believe that it was dream. That's what this is, imagine the heartache of him realizing she's gone and it was only a dream. It feels like a second death, because even if it was only for a few minutes she was alive and in his arms.  
  
Sonny wakes up and looks around. "Brenda must be upstairs" he thinks to himself. "Brenda" he yells out, when she doesn't respond he becomes frantic as the truth about what is reality invades his mind. "No, she isn't gone. I'm gonna go upstairs and find her getting ready for dinner, we're going to Luke's." He runs up to their room and she isn't there, he goes to the bathroom, the guestrooms. Suddenly he finally let's himself accept that it wasn't real and he leans up against a wall. He collapses against it and starts to cry. He's never getting her back, she's never gonna be in his arms again, he's only gonna smell her when he's near her things and soon even that'll fade. He feels as raw as the day Alberto came to tell him of her death.  
  
A: Senor Corinthos, I'm so sorry. I wish I didn't have to be telling you this.  
  
S: Telling me what (even though deep down he already knows)  
  
A: Senorita Barret was killed  
  
S: How? (How does one respond to news like that, news that their life is over, even though they know that the other person is lying and that it is all one big joke)  
  
A: Her car went off a cliff, they've given up the search.  
  
S: Leave  
  
A: Sir?  
  
S: Just leave 


	3. Carly

Carly  
  
Ch.3  
  
His penthouse, a month later~  
  
He left her house that morning and he didn't go back. How could he? How could he go back to that house? How could he be in it without her? It was different before, she had never been it, it was only her dream and his reality. Now it was his dream, she had been it that house, she made love to him on the brown leather couch. It wasn't a dream, this is the dream. This is the nightmare he must survive until he sleeps and she is in his arms again, if she ever is again. It killed Sonny to be alive without her; it was like she died again after that dream. How could he go on without her?  
  
He sat down on the couch and put his head in his hands, he didn't know how long he had been sitting there when he heard Carly's annoying voice. "Hey Sonny, where's Jason?" He looked up at Carly who had Michael supported on her hip.  
  
"He doesn't live here Carly," he said annoyed that he had to deal with her today "how many times do I have to tell you that?"  
  
"I know that Sonny, I asked where was he, not if he was home. God, what the hell has you in this kind of mood? Let me guess Hannah? Brenda? Lily?"  
  
"Nothing"  
  
"Yea right"  
  
"Why are you here with the kid? Where's your husband?"  
  
"You mean my soon to be ex? Who knows where that louse is, I got it on tape between he and Edward that he only got to be CEO if he had Michael in the house. Once the judge hears this Alexis says I'm guaranteed custody."  
  
"Congratulations"  
  
"Thank you"  
  
"Jason's gonna be thrilled"  
  
"I know, we're gonna be a family again. Do you hear that Mr. Man, you, me and your daddy? We're all gonna be together again, this time it's forever."  
  
"Don't get the kid's hopes up"  
  
"Jason loves us, he wants to with us. He proved that with Robin and a few other times as well"  
  
"You believe whatever you want in that area, I'm talking about forever, it's not real. It doesn't happen."  
  
"Ah so we're having Brenda issues. Let me go put him down first before you start throwing things and scaring him."  
  
"Carly" Sonny starts to say, however, she ignores him as usual and she walks up the stairs, but he continues "I don't wanna talk about it"  
  
"Yes you do and you know it" 


	4. Teddy Bears and Shopping Bags

Teddy Bears and Shopping Bags  
  
Ch.4  
  
Sonny hated it when he poured his guts out to Carly and the scary thing was that he was doing it on a more frequent basis. After he poured his guts out to Carly, threw a bottle across the room, spilled some more, she checked on Michael and headed out shopping. She'd left everything at the Q's and needed clothing for her and Michael. Sonny was sure she'd come back with a few dozen or so other things to make Jason's place "homier." Jason came in a few hours after that and he found Sonny playing with Michael on the floor.  
  
"Why is Michael here? What's wrong? Where's Carly?  
  
"Michael's here because I'm watching him. Absolutely nothing's wrong and it's Carly where do you think she is?"  
  
"Shopping?" Jason said with a smile thinking of her  
  
"Very good"  
  
"Daddy lookie bear" Michael said to Jason holding up a white teddy bear  
  
"It was Stone's, one of his many get well soon gifts." Sonny says before Jason can ask  
  
"Wasn't he too old?"  
  
"Yea, but whenever you're sick people suddenly treat you like you're five"  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Who knows"  
  
"So what's the real reason that Michael's here?"  
  
"I think Carly will want to tell you that herself"  
  
"You had better believe it" Carly says walking through the doorway armed with a dozen bags. She turns to Johnny "Oh can you bring these to Jason's. Thank you" she says as she dumps everything in Johnny's arms.  
  
Jason looked up at Carly "Does this mean what I think it means?"  
  
She nods, he stands and she runs to him. They embrace and then kiss. Sonny realizes that he definitely missed what was going on between those two. Then Jason scoops down and picks up Michael "We're a family again kiddo"  
  
She smiles and hugs both her men "We never stopped being one, let's go home Jason."  
  
They ignored Sonny, but he didn't mind. He was happy for them, he realized as they kissed that they loved each other. He didn't like Carly all too much, but she loved Jason and Jason was the only person that could keep her semi in check and it was definitely best for Michael and Jason to be together. He smiled as he heard the door slam and realized that he needed to go back to the house and face his ghost, he needed to face Brenda. 


	5. Puppy Dog Eyes

Ch. 5 Puppy Dog Eyes  
  
The house was as he left it; of course, it should be considering he was the only one that went inside it. He went over to a different box, one he hadn't opened yet and pulled it close to the couch and he opened it. He was going through it when he found another letter folded into her red dress, he wondered for a split second if Jax had put it there. Then he remembered what Chloe had said that Jax had found the boxes in the attic labeled "My Life with Sonny" and had never touched them. He opened the letter and began to read  
  
ISonny,  
  
I see us in our house, I see us playing with our children. They're so beautiful Sonny; they both have your big brown puppy dog eyes. I woke up this morning and I wanted to die, I reached next to me for you and I found Jax. I need you in my life; I miss you so much it's destroying me. I dream such wonderful dreams, dreams of you coming home to me. When I saw you coming out of that fire it took everything I had not to run to you. I know I did what was right, but I guess I was spoiled. We never should have known love like this, it's not healthy. I want to sleep all day so I can always remain in your arms. I dare not tell Kevin, he'd have me locked up in the psych ward and I can't go through that again. The desire to sleep all day and never again rejoin reality is definitely a major sign of depression. I don't care those dreams make me happier than reality ever could, since you disappeared from mine. I don't think I can go through with this marriage to Jax, it would be unfair to him. I'm going to try though; I'm going to try and have the life you wanted for me. The problem is I don't know if I can. I'm going to sleep now, I know it's only three, but I miss you and need to be in your arms, I need to hear your voice. Do you know I saved old messages you left on my machine? I treasure them as sad as that may sound. I'll see you soon my love./I  
  
Sonny reread the letter a dozen times before he let himself think. She loved him, she never stopped wanting to be with him. In the last letter he'd read even though she said she loved him, she said it wasn't what she wanted or actually it wasn't what she needed. In this one though, which he assumed she wrote months after the last one, she wanted to be with him as much as he wanted to be with her. He froze, once again hit by all he had lost only now it seemed to have doubled. He sat there for hours frozen, trapped in his thoughts. Then he suddenly nodded off.  
  
  
  
He was suddenly shaken, he though he was being attacked. Then as he opened his eyes and prepared to fight back he realized he was looking into his own eyes, he was looking at a four or five year old version of himself. "Stone" he heard her wonderful, beautiful voice call "I told you not to wake Daddy." He wondered to himself if these were like the dreams she talked of, he would live them as his reality any day.  
  
"It's okay" he started to stand taking the small boy with him  
  
"No it's not, you had a hard day helping Mike move"  
  
As soon as she said that he felt his muscles tighten "I'm okay really" he said as he put Stone down and began to rub his back.  
  
Brenda laughs at him "Oh yea, you're not twenty anymore Sonny. You need to take it easy once in a while."  
  
"Hey I'm not that old"  
  
"Yea well you're four years older than me and trust me that thought will always make me feel better. Go upstairs and lie down, I'll be up in a minute to give you a back rub."  
  
Sonny needed no further prompting than that and he made his way upstairs like a good dutiful husband. He was lying down on the bed, ordering himself not to sleep when she came in. "I sent Stone outside with Johnny" she says as she walks in the room  
  
"Bodyguards are not baby-sitters"  
  
"Aww Johnny loves it and so does Stone and you know it"  
  
"Possibly, now where's that back rub you were talking about?"  
  
"Now I see why Stone's so spoiled, he gets it from you."  
  
"My son is not spoiled" he groans with pleasure as Brenda begins kneading his bare back.  
  
"Whatever you say darling. So what does your father think of his new place?"  
  
"He says it's too quiet after years of living above bars"  
  
"He'll get used to it"  
  
"That's what I told him"  
  
The back rub continues for awhile until Sonny turns over and pulls Brenda down upon him. Her shirt quickly joins his discarded one on the floor, her bra follows soon after. He reaches for the button on her jeans when she hits his hand "You know what the doctor said, not for another week." Suddenly a baby starts to cry "And it looks like the reason why wants some attention herself." Brenda gets out of bed and grabs her shirt from the floor and pulls it back on over her head and leaves the room.  
  
"A baby, our baby" is all he can think as he follows her out of the room. He automatically knows where to go and soon he's watching as Brenda raises the baby out of the white crib. She's got a full head of curly black hair already and she stares at Sonny with her puppy dog eyes that Brenda described in her letter.  
  
"I think Mel wants her Daddy" Brenda says as she hands Sonny the baby, before he can refuse she's in his arms.  
  
Sonny takes his infant daughter and walks over to a rocker positioned facing the window so they can watch the sunrise in the early morning. Brenda brings him a bottle and tells him that she's going to go start dinner. He begins to rock as he examines his daughter's beauty, suddenly he hears the door slam and the dream is gone.  
  
Ch.6  
  
Sonny sits up straight from his position on the couch; he is saddened by the realization that Brenda and their children were only dreams. He gets off of the couch and makes his way to the kitchen, he didn't have any fresh food to make anything decent with, but then again he didn't have the energy to go through the big production as he normally would. He found a few frozen dinners in the freezer and grabbed the one that looked the least disgusting. He popped it in the microwave and looked around the kitchen. It was very homey, the walls were brick and there was a huge fireplace, it looked like it came out of a farmhouse. Looking at Brenda you'd have never imagined she'd want a room like this, but she had. She had remembered Sonny's stories of being with, watching and helping his mother as she cooked and she had wanted that. He remembered what she said in his dream about going to start dinner and thought about how much more fire resistant brick was compared to wood.  
  
He ate his dinner in silence and then returned to his seat on the sofa. He dug through the box and found another letter.  
  
I I thought you were dead tonight. I wanted to strangle you with my bare hands for making me suffer like that. Why do you continue to hurt me? I hate you for making me feel this way. Why is it you get me so passionate, so alive about everything? I can't just hate you, I can't just love you, I can't just let you mean nothing to me as you should be. All my feelings for you have to overwhelm me. IT'S NOT FAIR! I ran to Jax hoping to feel half a spark in his arms compared to the fire I felt when I only saw you. I felt nothing; I can't feel anything anymore it seems. Just pain, loss, regret, love for you, over you. It's only you, it's not fair. It's simply not fair. /I  
  
Sonny didn't stop and stare at this one for hours; he had to see if there were anymore in the boxes. He dug through the last three boxes, but only found one more letter. He was afraid to open it because he realized these would be the last words he would have of her. He slowly tore it open anyway and he began to read.  
  
II can't go through with it. It would be unfair Jax in the long run if I married him even though I still love you. I don't know how I'm gonna tell him, but I'm going to. I don't know why this came to me so suddenly today, but it did. We'll be together again Sonny, I don't know how, but we will be. I promise you that. There are so many thoughts running through my head as write this, thoughts of love and our future. I wanna write them all down, so you can read them when we're old and gray. I don't have the time to now because my mother's disappeared. I'll think about what I'm gonna tell Jax on my way down to go find her. I have to act like nothing's wrong now, I have to be careful about what I say. I know that if I mention your name, they'll put me back in the hospital. I can't let that happen, I have to find a way to be with you again. I love you. /I  
  
That was Sonny's breaking point and he began to cry, the day she died she planned on leaving Jax for him. All of his dreams of Brenda still loving him were true; it was only he in her heart, not Jax. She didn't think of Jax when she died, but him. It meant the world to him to know that, yet it destroyed him even more. He stood up abruptly, grabbed his coat from the chair he'd flung it on and stormed out of the house. He got in his Jag and took off, he couldn't live here or in Port Charles without her.  
  
Ch.7  
  
Two months later~ Sonny's living on the island and has been drinking heavily since he left Port Charles. One day about three weeks after he moved here he got his first letter and the drinking increased with each one that followed  
  
The letter~  
  
IDear Sonny,  
  
I'm worried about you; you've been gone from Port Charles too long. You need to come home, that casino isn't your home. I'll be waiting when you return.  
  
Love Always,  
  
Your love/I  
  
The next one came two weeks after that one  
  
Dear Sonny,  
  
I need you here with me, I love you so much, I don't know how to go on without you. I dream of us, I dream of our children, and of the life we're going to have. The only problem is we can't have it until you come home.  
  
I will love you forever,  
  
Me  
  
Ch.8  
  
He'd assumed the letters were from Hannah until he'd gotten the call today telling him that Brenda's dream house had been broken into. They didn't know when it had happened because no one really went out there except him. He assumed then that some of his enemies wanted him back in PC, probably because they couldn't get to him on the island. He was trashed already by the time he'd made his way down to the bar. He didn't remember anything between his first shot of vodka to the time he woke up to the brunette asleep on his bed. Actually he didn't awake to her; he awoke to his urgent need to puke. By the time he returned she was gone. She was just another in the long line of women he had slept with on the island. They were all brunettes with brown eyes, all between five feet and five four because that combined with all the alcohol he consumed he believed it was Brenda in his arms until he woke up again.  
  
Three weeks later he got another letter.  
  
IMy dearest Sonny,  
  
Please return home, I need you. I know you need me too. The dreams of our life together are getting more intense. I sleep all day, waiting for you to awake me. You're never there though. I've been patient, but no more. Come home now, I need you.  
  
I love you,  
  
Brenda/I  
  
This last letter was cruel; they signed her name to the typed sheet of paper. Of course a signature wasn't a particularly hard thing to fake unless it was closely examined. He tossed the letter on top of his desk and went about looking for the alcohol Maria had hidden from him.  
  
Three and a half weeks later he got another letter, everything was written in what appeared to be her scrawling script.  
  
IMichael Corinthos,  
  
I asked you nicely to get that beautiful behind of yours home, yet for some reason you don't listen to me. I wanted you to come home on your own, but you aren't coming. I don't know why, you're just not. I'm alive Sonny; I'm waiting for you in our house. How clear do I have to be, how do I get through that thick skull? I'm afraid that you don't feel me anymore, I still feel you though and I know you're hurting. It doesn't hurt when we're together though, only when we're alone and then it rips out your insides and it hurts so badly you want to die. I want our future, I want you. Please come home. I beg you; I can't go on without you.  
  
I love you more than life itself.  
  
Brenda/I  
  
Sonny still convinces himself that as much as he wanted it to be Brenda it wasn't, it was a hit as simple as that. He couldn't go back to Port Charles not now, not ever.  
  
Another letter came anyway two weeks after the last  
  
ISonny,  
  
I guess I should give up, you're not coming home. I don't know why, but you're not. I've waited patiently in this house for months; I've waited in my dream house. Did I ever say thank you for building it? It's perfect, I can see them here in every place I look. I dream of Stone throwing food at you when you cook, I dream of me doing the same. /I  
  
Sonny freezes there in the letter, Stone, that was their son's name in his dreams. "Brenda" he softly says to himself, but then he realizes that Stone is an obvious first name for his child. He continues reading the letter.  
  
II can't stay here though without you, it's not the same. I can't go back to Port Charles, they think I'm dead and I don't want to be there without you. I'm gonna join my mom in France, I'm gonna get a little place by her hospital. I'm afraid to give you the name though; I don't want your enemies to find me. I just wish more than anything that Melissa had a chance at life. Forever, Brenda/I  
  
It hit Sonny seconds after he read "Melissa" that the letter was from Brenda, that she was alive. No one else could come up with that name. He didn't even know how she would because it was his dream. It was Brenda, she knew things like that, just like she knew when he was in trouble. He called and ordered a plane, it was to be ready to take him to the mainland before he got down there. He only hoped he wasn't too late. 


	6. The Final Letters

Ch6 The Final Letters  
  
Sonny sits up straight from his position on the couch; he is saddened by the realization that Brenda and their children were only dreams. He gets off of the couch and makes his way to the kitchen, he didn't have any fresh food to make anything decent with, but then again he didn't have the energy to go through the big production as he normally would. He found a few frozen dinners in the freezer and grabbed the one that looked the least disgusting. He popped it in the microwave and looked around the kitchen. It was very homey, the walls were brick and there was a huge fireplace, it looked like it came out of a farmhouse. Looking at Brenda you'd have never imagined she'd want a room like this, but she had. She had remembered Sonny's stories of being with, watching and helping his mother as she cooked and she had wanted that. He remembered what she said in his dream about going to start dinner and thought about how much more fire resistant brick was compared to wood.  
  
He ate his dinner in silence and then returned to his seat on the sofa. He dug through the box and found another letter.  
  
I I thought you were dead tonight. I wanted to strangle you with my bare hands for making me suffer like that. Why do you continue to hurt me? I hate you for making me feel this way. Why is it you get me so passionate, so alive about everything? I can't just hate you, I can't just love you, I can't just let you mean nothing to me as you should be. All my feelings for you have to overwhelm me. IT'S NOT FAIR! I ran to Jax hoping to feel half a spark in his arms compared to the fire I felt when I only saw you. I felt nothing; I can't feel anything anymore it seems. Just pain, loss, regret, love for you, over you. It's only you, it's not fair. It's simply not fair. /I  
  
Sonny didn't stop and stare at this one for hours; he had to see if there were anymore in the boxes. He dug through the last three boxes, but only found one more letter. He was afraid to open it because he realized these would be the last words he would have of her. He slowly tore it open anyway and he began to read.  
  
II can't go through with it. It would be unfair Jax in the long run if I married him even though I still love you. I don't know how I'm gonna tell him, but I'm going to. I don't know why this came to me so suddenly today, but it did. We'll be together again Sonny, I don't know how, but we will be. I promise you that. There are so many thoughts running through my head as write this, thoughts of love and our future. I wanna write them all down, so you can read them when we're old and gray. I don't have the time to now because my mother's disappeared. I'll think about what I'm gonna tell Jax on my way down to go find her. I have to act like nothing's wrong now, I have to be careful about what I say. I know that if I mention your name, they'll put me back in the hospital. I can't let that happen, I have to find a way to be with you again. I love you. /I  
  
That was Sonny's breaking point and he began to cry, the day she died she planned on leaving Jax for him. All of his dreams of Brenda still loving him were true; it was only he in her heart, not Jax. She didn't think of Jax when she died, but him. It meant the world to him to know that, yet it destroyed him even more. He stood up abruptly, grabbed his coat from the chair he'd flung it on and stormed out of the house. He got in his Jag and took off, he couldn't live here or in Port Charles without her. 


	7. New Letters?

Ch7 New Letters  
  
Two months later~ Sonny's living on the island and has been drinking heavily since he left Port Charles. One day about three weeks after he moved here he got his first letter and the drinking increased with each one that followed  
  
The letter~  
  
IDear Sonny,  
  
I'm worried about you; you've been gone from Port Charles too long. You need to come home, that casino isn't your home. I'll be waiting when you return.  
  
Love Always,  
  
Your love/I  
  
The next one came two weeks after that one  
  
Dear Sonny,  
  
I need you here with me, I love you so much, I don't know how to go on without you. I dream of us, I dream of our children, and of the life we're going to have. The only problem is we can't have it until you come home.  
  
I will love you forever,  
  
Me 


	8. Is She Real?

Ch8 Is She Real?  
  
He'd assumed the letters were from Hannah until he'd gotten the call today telling him that Brenda's dream house had been broken into. They didn't know when it had happened because no one really went out there except him. He assumed then that some of his enemies wanted him back in PC, probably because they couldn't get to him on the island. He was trashed already by the time he'd made his way down to the bar. He didn't remember anything between his first shot of vodka to the time he woke up to the brunette asleep on his bed. Actually he didn't awake to her; he awoke to his urgent need to puke. By the time he returned she was gone. She was just another in the long line of women he had slept with on the island. They were all brunettes with brown eyes, all between five feet and five four because that combined with all the alcohol he consumed he believed it was Brenda in his arms until he woke up again.  
  
Three weeks later he got another letter.  
  
IMy dearest Sonny,  
  
Please return home, I need you. I know you need me too. The dreams of our life together are getting more intense. I sleep all day, waiting for you to awake me. You're never there though. I've been patient, but no more. Come home now, I need you.  
  
I love you,  
  
Brenda/I  
  
This last letter was cruel; they signed her name to the typed sheet of paper. Of course a signature wasn't a particularly hard thing to fake unless it was closely examined. He tossed the letter on top of his desk and went about looking for the alcohol Maria had hidden from him.  
  
Three and a half weeks later he got another letter, everything was written in what appeared to be her scrawling script.  
  
IMichael Corinthos,  
  
I asked you nicely to get that beautiful behind of yours home, yet for some reason you don't listen to me. I wanted you to come home on your own, but you aren't coming. I don't know why, you're just not. I'm alive Sonny; I'm waiting for you in our house. How clear do I have to be, how do I get through that thick skull? I'm afraid that you don't feel me anymore, I still feel you though and I know you're hurting. It doesn't hurt when we're together though, only when we're alone and then it rips out your insides and it hurts so badly you want to die. I want our future, I want you. Please come home. I beg you; I can't go on without you.  
  
I love you more than life itself.  
  
Brenda/I  
  
Sonny still convinces himself that as much as he wanted it to be Brenda it wasn't, it was a hit as simple as that. He couldn't go back to Port Charles not now, not ever.  
  
Another letter came anyway two weeks after the last  
  
ISonny,  
  
I guess I should give up, you're not coming home. I don't know why, but you're not. I've waited patiently in this house for months; I've waited in my dream house. Did I ever say thank you for building it? It's perfect, I can see them here in every place I look. I dream of Stone throwing food at you when you cook, I dream of me doing the same. /I  
  
Sonny freezes there in the letter, Stone, that was their son's name in his dreams. "Brenda" he softly says to himself, but then he realizes that Stone is an obvious first name for his child. He continues reading the letter.  
  
II can't stay here though without you, it's not the same. I can't go back to Port Charles, they think I'm dead and I don't want to be there without you. I'm gonna join my mom in France, I'm gonna get a little place by her hospital. I'm afraid to give you the name though; I don't want your enemies to find me. I just wish more than anything that Melissa had a chance at life. Forever, Brenda/I  
  
It hit Sonny seconds after he read "Melissa" that the letter was from Brenda, that she was alive. No one else could come up with that name. He didn't even know how she would because it was his dream. It was Brenda, she knew things like that, just like she knew when he was in trouble. He called and ordered a plane, it was to be ready to take him to the mainland before he got down there. He only hoped he wasn't too late. 


	9. Going Home

Ch9 Going Home  
  
He got off the plane at the PC Airport and hopped into the limo waiting for him ordering the driver to speed. He ran out of the limo and to the house, he went to open the door when he realized it was locked. Then he realized he didn't have the key, god he hoped he hadn't missed her. He ordered Johnny, Frankie and Tyler (yea odd name for a mobster, Sonny thought so too) to knock down the damn door. They all looked at their boss as if he was crazy, but did it anyway. He ran all throughout the house looking for her. He ran up and down the hallways, in and out of rooms calling her name, but he didn't get an answer. He walked to the kitchen to try to think of how he could find her. When he noticed the door to the garage, he opened it. A small, silver BMW was there, that meant she was still there. Where though? He'd been through the two main floors and he didn't think she'd be in the basement. Then it hit him, she'd wanted the attic to be made so their children could play in it when it was too cold outside and so that one of them could have their own floor when they were older. That was where he found her asleep on the window seat she'd asked him to include. She was in a pale long blue skirt and a white tank top; her hair fell down around her shoulders. He walked to her so slowly, so afraid any sudden movement would make her disappear. He touched her warm cheek with his hand and her head unconsciously moved closer to it, then her eyes opened. "Sonny" she said her voice filled with sleep.  
  
"Yea baby, it's me," he says with a smile  
  
"Took you long enough" she says smiling back  
  
"I know, I'm sorry. I didn't believe it was you. I couldn't go through losing you again." He said this as he took her in his arms; she pressed her face against his chest.  
  
"How'd I finally convince you?"  
  
"The last line of your letter. "I just wish more than anything that Melissa had a chance to be born." It was in my dream."  
  
"Mine too, see I told you we're soul mates. You really need to start taking my word."  
  
"I always believed that and you know it." He turns her around in his arms so his back is against the wall, luckily he'd built it long enough so an adult could stretch out.  
  
"This feels so good, I've missed being in your arms"  
  
"Me too."  
  
A few minutes pass when a question pops into his mind  
  
"Did you fake your death?"  
  
Brenda laughs "No, not even I could have pulled that off. I just took the opportunity that presented itself."  
  
"Oh" he smiles again  
  
A few more minutes pass and another one pops into his head  
  
"How come you only said you wish Melissa had a chance to be born? What about Stone?"  
  
"I think you know the answer to your question"  
  
"The only one that left" thinking of the brunette who'd left his room as he puked in the bathroom.  
  
"Very good darling"  
  
"We're gonna stay here right?"  
  
"Uh huh, it's the only place that's ever been truly home."  
  
"That's good. I'm really tired."  
  
"So sleep"  
  
"Promise you'll be here when I wake up?"  
  
"I promise"  
  
She kept her promise.  
  
The End…Scratch that, it's just the beginning. 


End file.
